I was not always a warrior, but I am now. I didn’t grow up attending church, but my parents raised me to believe in God and to have good morals. I wasn’t perfect but I thought I was doing alright. It was my senior year in high school when everything started to fall apart. My best friend since childhood chose a different path that no longer included me. My horse passed away, my boyfriend was shot and killed and I faced the consequences of some bad decisions I had made when I was violently attacked and beaten by someone I thought I could trust. I was in a dark place. How could God let all of this happen? I was so hurt, mad, my faith was dead.
Fortunately for me, I had an amazing support team of family & friends that helped me heal. They lifted me up and helped to make me strong again. I know now that God gave me that army to help me fight my battle. I did not know it then, but I was determined that I wasn’t going to let anything or anyone have a hold over my life and my happiness so I pushed on. Not long after, I developed rheumatoid arthritis, it came on strong and fast. The pain was constant and it took away my strength, I couldn’t cut my own food or even hold a glass to drink with one hand. I tell you this so you can understand the severity. After finding the right medication I was able to function again but it was definitely difficult and there was always a level of pain. I was told that it would only get worse as I aged and that it would never go away. Yet again, I decided to push on and continue to do all that I was still capable of. I’m a bit stubborn.
Then it happened. I met my perfect man, my best friend. We loved each other and each other’s families, we rarely ever disagreed, in fact, we laughed together every day. We were that perfect couple that would be together forever, the couple that everyone wanted to be and I was confident in that. After 12 years, there were times that he was a little withdrawn but nothing we couldn’t handle. You can imagine my surprise when he came home one night with a dozen red roses and told me that he loved me but that he was leaving me. (that’s a whole other story). I had made him my world, I was shattered, completely devastated. My army surrounded me again with love and support, it comforted me to know they were there but it wasn’t enough, I was lost and broken. I finally turned back to God, I begged, pleaded and prayed to him but nothing happened, he was silent. Finally, I couldn’t stand it any longer and I cried out “Please help me, just show me a sign that you are here with me”. I was desperate for God. I went to bed that night again with no hope in sight. I awoke the next day and started my daily routine I was surprised to realize that I had zero pain in my body and no swollen stiff joints. That hadn’t happened in over 17 years and I thought, how odd. Ok, so I’m a little slow connecting the dots, but after my second day pain free I realized that it was God’s way of letting me know he had been with me all along.
I realized God had been silent because I was praying for the wrong thing. His plan wasn’t to fix my old life, it was to make me new. I didn’t share my story with anyone for years because I thought they might think I was crazy. I realize that was my own immaturity in my relationship with Christ, but it has now become my testimony. I am completely healed from my arthritis for over 8 years now, No medication and No pain! I know that it was only possible with God and I stand strong on that, nobody can ever take that experience from me. It was from that point that I began to heal fully and became my new self. Strong, confident and a Warrior Woman of God. We may not understand his ways in the mist of our own pain and struggles, but as I look back I can see how he was working all along. I would not be the woman I am today without the trials and experiences that built me.
As I currently find myself facing a new battle, I know God is on my side. He is faithful and as long as I trust in him, his plan will be revealed. I take comfort and find peace as I hand all my worries over to him. I do believe that this next chapter is going to be amazing.